The Expendables

This should have been for action movies what Scream was for horror movies.  Sadly Sly Stallone either doesn’t understand irony or can’t poke fun at himself.  Considering this was basically his baby he’s gotta take the blame for the faults; lack of fun, plot and coherence being the main things.

I had such high expectations but even Jason Stafam, Dolph Lundgren, Terry Crews and Eric Roberts couldn’t make up for it being somewhat of a let down.  There wasn’t enough for Jet Li to do and there was far too much ‘banter’ between Stafam and Stallone, which was fine apart from Stallone not being funny (see Stop or My Mom Will Shoot).  Mickey Rourke’s character was fucking stupid as well, providing the emotional heart and expositionary backstory to give The Expendables a reason to kick ass.  The film REALLY didn’t need it.  I enjoyed the cameos from Bruce Willis and Arnold who I really wish wasn’t hamstrung by his responsibilities as a Governor and could unleash his old self and shoot some people.  They were both delightfully hamming it up, something the film needed more of.

Kind of reminded me of Inglourious Basterds where The Basterds are meant to the be central figures yet all the supporting characters are far more interesting, in this case Sly was The Basterds and everyone else was Hans Landa (although only Dolph Lundgren came close to being as much fun as Christoph Waltz).

Looks like they’ll be a sequel, keep the explosions, keep the action, get in someone for Jet Li to have a full on scrap with rather than just a little whippet vs. a big lug and please please please lighten up Sly.