Games that’d better as good or better than LA Noire

If you read this you will know I am not the biggest fan of L.A. Noire.  I’ve still not finished it – not because it’s difficult, it isn’t when all you do is press X, but because it is painfully dull and repetitive.

So I was chatting to Moff on Facebook and I thought I could come up with ideas for games that’d be as good or better than LA Noire.  So here goes.

Social Worker

This would be an adventure game where you work your way through the ranks or departments of Social Care – much like you do the police force in LA Noire – starting off with older people, moving on to working with children and also including people with learning disabilities or mental health problems.  You can play as a male or female and earn XP points for working over time and closing cases.

You could start off as a student social worker and learn the ropes as you move up the ranks before going into the full blown thrilling world of full on social work.

As rewards for good assessments and helping people you could earn costumes, from woolly jumpers, casual blazers, half-mast jeans and hush puppies.  You could would be able to drive to each visit you have to carry out and if you get bored of driving your Ford KA you could upgrade to VW Beetle and eventually get yourself a 4×4 to roam around the county meeting people.

Of course social work isn’t a walk in the park and sometimes you’d come into contact with difficult and challenging cases, but if you keeping pressing X you will get to the bottom of things without too much trouble.  Although beware of the dreaded ‘Media Challenge’.  If you do a bad job on a case and it gets reported to the press or your local MP you’ll have to jump in your car and drive away as fast of you can to avoid the evil reporters or even national news (if you really fucked up).

Other side games could include ‘Making the drinks’ when you have to go and make drinks for everyone in the office and get the right drinks in the right cups or you’ll fall foul of ‘Office banter’ and lose XP.

Football Hooligans MMORPG

The MMORPG stands for Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game – like what Warcraft is.  However in this game instead of fighting orcs, elves and smiting wizards you’d charge around England getting into skirmishes with other football hooligans.

You’d start off by designing your avatar.  First you would select your class, there are three classes ‘Ninja’, ‘Guvnor’ and ‘Casual’.  As a ‘Ninja class’ character you would be a young hooligan causing chaos on the streets whilst in your tracksuit and hoodie.  Whilst the Ninja benefits from added mystery -  being able to hide their identity – they fight best when in groups of fellow Ninjas.

The ‘Guvnor’ class is your classic hard man.  The Guvnor comes complete with skinhead which may seem restrictive but the benefit is an extremely thick skull, protecting a small brain meaning that you can withstand more fierce blows to the head.  As well as this the Guvnor can cast ‘Intimidation’ spells which when used your character will shout random racist views and sing songs to opposing hooligans and make them weaker when going into battle.

The ‘Casual’ is a hooligan whose main benefit comes in that he will fight with anyone and also has greater ability sniff out weaponary – suchs as broken bottles, shanks or traffic cones.  The Casual also has exclusive access to an extensive wardrobe of Lacoste polo shirt, Stone Island jackets and white trainers.

Once you’ve chosen your class you select your allegiance by picking your ‘faction’ – essentially which team you will support and therefore the crew you will fight with.  Allegiances can change if you’re a fair-weather fan and fancy ditching the Hollywood Meerkats in favour of the Golders Green Geese.

In the game you will tour England fighting opposing factions on game days, in the streets and outside the ground.  You can build your strength by drinking beer on the coach trip to the fight and heal yourself during fights by buying pies and drinking more.

Of course you must always watch out for the police who will come charging in with batons to control you – the last thing you want is to get a night in the cells and lose lots of XP.

As well as the standard fight scenarios there will be major game events that occur when international matches take place at Wembley.  On these events all players of all hooligan factions team up to take on the visiting foreign fans.

The first expansion pack for the game would be : European Tour

In this expansion of the game you and your faction would support your team around Europe in the continental competitions, but more importantly get the chance to lock horns with some of the fierce European factions such as the Bilbao Bulls and the Warsaw Whackos.  There would also be a new class ‘the Ultra’ allowing you the opportunity to play as an Italian hooligan giving you unlimited access to flares and knives.

Interior Designer

In this game you’d play as an Interior Designer who renovates homes, just like on the telly.  You would work your way from small renovations of flats or small houses up to earning enough money to buy dilapidated properties and do them up for a profit, before finally becoming so successful you would do the interior design on major projects.

The more successful you become the more money you earn and the more XP you gain.  More XP allows access to more extravagant ideas such as water features, fancy paints or wallpapers and patterns.  The main aim of the game is to quote a price for the design project to your customer but take forever in doing the renovation and overspending.  Of course a key tactic is in how you negotiate and speak to your customers, rub them up the wrong way and they might not pay up but if you keep them sweet they’ll pay more and more until you’ve rinsed them dry.